Dear Dogs and Cats,
- pfandiinc
- Mar 28, 2021
- 2 min read
When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not to switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the top is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall down faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years--canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Dogs and cats are better than kids ... they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, they usually come when they're called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.
Absolutely loved this post! Celebrity New arrival 2025 Your attention to detail and passion really shine through.
Thankyou for this information, I am really glad to see this post. I also want to recommend you to try this Casados A Primeira Vista Season 5 Dianas Pink Embellished Gown With Flared Sleeves.
I want people to know Leather Biker Jacket, how good this information is in your article. Your views are much like my own concerning this subject.
Thankyou for this information, I am really glad to see this post. I also want to recommend you to try this Scuderia Ferrari 2025 Miami GP T-Shirt.
I want people to know Detroit Tigers Dugout Bomber Jacket, how good this information is in your article. Your views are much like my own concerning this subject.